As geeks everywhere flock to San Diego this week for Comic Con, those of us unable to score tickets or a TARDIS to slip in unnoticed are eagerly waiting at our computers for the YouTube videos to start flooding in. So if you’re one of the few chosen, do keep in mind that you have thousands upon thousands of people counting on you, our ambassador, to ask the questions that we so sadly can’t. In other words: don’t screw it up for the rest of us. To help you with this Herculean task, I’ve compiled a list of five questions you should avoid at all cost.
1) Don’t ask a question that’s already been answered in another, easily accessible place. We’re all geeks here, people. Chances are that if you’ve managed to get into a panel, you’ve already seen all the DVDs, listened to all of the podcasts, and have the appropriate wiki bookmarked on your computer. Don’t ask for an encore.
2) Don’t waste time on trivial comments. If you’re at the Lost panel, it’s safe to say that Darlton and co. assume you’re a fan of the show, so keep your comments about how much you think Lost is the best thing since sliced bread to a bare minimum and get on with your question.
3) Don’t waste your question on something you know they won’t be able to answer. Sticking with my Lost example, asking what’s in store for us in season six is practically guaranteed to get a canned response that’ll offer no concrete information about much of anything. You’re essentially asking the panelists for spoilers, and I’ve lost count how many times actors have appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and said that they’re contractually obligated not to reveal any of Lost‘s many secrets. And I’ve got news for you, geeks; contracts are a heckuva lot more binding than how many pretty please with Cylons on top you tack onto the end of your question.
4) Don’t ask if you can go up and physically touch the cast. I’ve seen one too many Doctor Who fangirl request to run her hands through David Tennant’s hair. On one level, I understand this urge; he has inherently touchable hair. On another, more rational level, it ‘s just plain creepy. Imagine if you were asked by a girl in an ill-fitting Phoenix costume if she could run her hands through your hair. Yeah, that’s what I thought.
5) Don’t ask why something sucked. This one strikes me as plain ol’ common courtesy, but there’s always that one renegade geek who thinks they’re the bee’s knees as they stroll up to the microphone in full Darth Vader regalia to give the panelists a good tongue lashing. You’re in a room full of fans, Anakin Killjoy, and it tends to ruin the mood when you go off on a long rant about how all of the writers are hacks and should go die in a fire. Save that for your blog.
And here is my personal plea to all of you attending the Lost panel: For the love of Jacob, don’t ask about Vincent the Dog.
Though Nix is stuck in Canada, PCR will be at Comic Con, providing you with all the spills, chills and thrills as they manoeuvre their way through the throng of Twilight fans.
Check out: How to Enjoy Comic Con!